Ricardo Montalban

You know, when people croak you learn all sorts of stuff. Until I read Ricardo Montalban's obituary I didn't know that there really was no such thing as Corinthian leather, soft or otherwise. That saved me a gaff or two, I'm sure.

It's a been a tough month for Trekkers and the booking agents who populate their conventions. First, Majel Barrett, and now the man who made William Shatner scream, "Khaaaaaaan!" Next thing you know, Max Grodenchik will drop off. Oh, the humanity.

Of course, when I was a wee lad it was "Fantasy Island" that really got us going. "Smile, everyone, smile! We want our guests to feel welcome!" Every freakin' week he had to remind those idiots. And every week another group of tourists was not too careful what they wished for.

After seeing Ricardo looking so dapper on that show and in the Cordoba ads, it was a bit of a shock to go catch the reruns of "Space Seed" and seeing just how, well, hunky he looked. And then, flipping forward to "The Wrath of Khan", just how, well, odd he looked. But still strangely hunky.

It's the best of the Trek movies and, after the snoozefest of Robert Wise's "Star Trek: The Motion Picture", it saved the franchise and paved the way for the new TV series. So we have Ricardo to thank for that. Okay, and Nicholas Meyer. But he's still kicking.

I love what they've done to my car. Khaaaaaaaaaaaan!

Majel Barrett

How cool was this lady? The obits all talk about Nurse Chapel. Which was cool. I loved that she had a crush on Spock. I also loved that she was the voice of the computer in every incarnation of the series. But I loved her most when she came back in The Next Generation and even Deep Space Nine as Lwaxana Troi. She was the mom you're glad you never had (or were annoyed that you did have). It was worse for poor Deanna, of course, because her mom, being a Betazoid, could read her thoughts. (What, you didn't know that?) And you only thought your mother could.

When Stanley Kubrick died, my first thought was "Oh, no!" but it was followed almost immediately by "Oh, no! Did he finish "Eyes Wide Shut"? I'm the last person earth who would suggest that the passing of Majel Barrett ranks up there with Kubrick's as a loss to our culture. But I was heartened to hear that Mrs. Roddenberry managed to complete one last turn as the computer's voice in J.J. Abrams' new prequel.

Trekkers of the world, raise a glass of, oh, I don't know, Romulan ale... Klingon bloodwine... tea - Earl Grey - hot... whatever ya got. She lived long and she prospered.