59-0

It's been a gruesome week for New England sports fans. We've had a splendid decade up to now so it's tough for us to complain about anything for a while. But the Sox made us remember what it was like to be a Sox fan pre-2004 in last week's Game 3 vs. Los Angeles. (That was Spanish for "The Angels", by the way, not English for "Los Angeles", the city, where the Angels don't play.) 9th inning. Two outs. 6-4 lead. Bases empty. 0-2 count on the #9 hitter. One strike away from getting back in the series. Oh, and on the mound is a guy with a lifetime playoff ERA of 0.00. Howzit end?

Yep, feels like old times. Painful.

We tried to make ourselves feel better by switching to the Patriots game. Hurray! A 10-point lead at the half! The Pats are back! Oh, no.

That's what it used to be like to be a Pats fan too.

So thank you, Patriots, for giving us a good old-fashioned ass-whupping yesterday. 59-0! What was that score again? 59-0.

I just need to type that again. 59-0.

One more time. 59-0.

"Yes!" you say. A shutout! Okay, yeah. A shutout is, like, 10-0. Or 13-0. Usually when you score 59 points, the other team scores 35. But no. The 0 is great but it isn't exactly the number that pops out at you, is it? It's the one that starts with 5 and ends with 9. Okay, have to do it again. 59-0.

The box score at halftime was already absurd. 45-0. (An NFL record, by the way.) Tom Brady with 345 yards and 5 touchdowns. We didn't even want them to come out for the second half. Really, nowhere to go but down. Seriously. I mean, think about what would have happened if the second half wasn't a letdown. If they just equalled the first half, the score would have been 90-0. Brady would have destroyed the single-game passing records with 690 yards and 10 touchdowns. Impossible!

So, all they really had to do was not suck in the second half. Well, they outscored them 14-0, mostly with backup QB Brian Hoyer making sure Brady didn't get cheap-shotted out of the game for no reason.

A letdown? Yeah, but who's complaining?

Oh, and by the way, the Titans two quarterbacks combined to complete 2 of 14 passes for -7 yards. Yes, that's negative. Wow. They completed just as many passes to Patriots players.

Feeling better about this team, we are. Please, Patriots. More of this.

A Curt Meditation, Entirely Lacking in Schilling

So pitcher Curt Schilling has announced his retirement. To which the response would be, "He wasn't retired?"

I've always had mixed feelings about Schill. He was inspirational in 2004. The bloody sock game was one of the highlights of Red Sox history. And he said he was coming to end the World Series drought for the Sox and he did. Bravo, Mr. Man.

On the downside, right after the 2004 victory he went right out and started shilling for George W. Bush's election. (Not re-election, mind you. He lost the first time, as we seem to forget.) This is his prerogative, of course. I can't stand it when people say that Bruce Springsteen and the Dixie Chicks should just shut the hell up and sing. Schilling had every right to speak his mind. But it made me like him a lot less. Call me petty. That's politics.

Also, guess how much he made last year. "Wait a minute," I hear you saying. "He didn't pitch last year." Nope. But he banked $8 million for not pitching. And this was not the tail end of a multi-year contract. He signed a one-year deal, knowing full well that he may never actually suit up. Is this his fault? Hell, no. If you told me you'd give me $8 million for not pitching, I'd ask where to sign. But still, it rankles.

So hasta la vista, Curt. Thanks for the great stuff. We won't be calling though.

This Man Is a Hall-of-Famer!

Yeah! Jim Rice! It's about time, BBWAA.

Jim Ed was my favorite player when I was a kid. His career stats don't look all that impressive compared to some of the bloated figures from the steroid era. But from about 1977-1983 he was the baddest badass in all of baseball. No one was more feared.

He's been considered a marginal choice for the Hall by some, but for those of us who remember what he could do (and, okay, grew up in New England) he should have been picked long ago. His prickly relationship with sportswriters certainly contributed to the delay.

Congrats, Jim. It took way too long, but the plaque's finally going up now and it's not coming down.

Your Baby Doesn't Love You Anymore

That's right, Roy. It's over.

Well, the Sox came up a bit short last night. They had their chances, most notably in the 8th inning, when Joe Maddon used 5 pitchers to get 3 outs and the Sox left 3 men on base with 0 runs scored. The 9th seemed like an afterthought with the bottom of the Sox lineup batting.

Oh well. I don't feel as bad about it as I might. Maybe because we've already had some fun in the past few years and the Sox have a bunch of nice young players (and a whole lot of money) that will keep them competitive for the foreseeable future.

It's distressing how many runners they leave on base (they had the "advantage" in that department of shame 8-3 last night and left 12 on the night before, although they managed to win that one in spite of it) but the bottom line is that they just got beat by the better team. And it was kinda fun. Except for Games 3 and 4, and the first 6 1/2 innings of Game 5, which were torturous.

I almost would have felt bad for the Rays and their (newfound) fans if they blew this series after the absurd lead they chunked in Game 5. I'm not into schadenfreude. Even for Yankees fans, believe it or not. (Well, maybe a little for Yankees fans.) So the Sox' losing spared me some guilt. But I would have found a way to live with it.

The Rays, as much as I've hated to let the thought creep into my natural-order-loving brain all year, are a really good team and they earned it. Hats off to Maddon and to Matt Garza for pitching a phenomenal game.

Not sure if I'll be taking sides in the World Series. Lots of people want to see the team that beat their team lose to feel some kind of revenge. I've always been more of the opinion that you want that team to go all the way. That way you can say "Well, our guys lost to the champs. It may as well have been the finals."

Unless it's the Yankees, of course.

They're Alive!

Holy shit!

Saying that the Sox snatched victory from the jaws of defeat last night does not do the game justice. They were just 7 outs away from elimination and losing 7-0. They had been outscored 29-5 at home in over 2-24/27 games. They had nothing going for them. Nothing. A rerun of the utter shame of the previous two games. At this point they were just trying to avoid being shut out at home in the playoffs for the first time in 90 years and get ready to tip their hats to the Rays, who, credit where it's due, have been outstanding.

Then Dustin Pedroia knocked in a run with a single. Yippee. One fewer point of shame in this game. But, then...

Big Papi, 1 for 16 in the series and more accurately referred to as Big Poopi, went kablammo to make it 7-4. Huh? Do not do this to us, Sox. Do not. Do not get our hopes up.

Next inning, J.D. Drew knocks a two-run shot over the right-field fence to make it 7-6. At this point, we somehow knew that this was going to happen, even though they were still down and now only 4 outs from elimination.

Coco Crisp had one of the best at-bats I've ever seen (10 pitches!) to stay alive and knock in the tying run with a base hit.

They got into the bottom of the ninth still tied, thanks to a timely double play in the top half with two runners on. And J.D Drew came through again with a line drive single to cap off the most holy-motherlovin-crap-I-can't-believe-what-I-just-saw game we're ever likely to see.

This would have been amazing if it were just a regular game. The fact that this was an elimination game and the Rays had the champagne ready and the lockers covered with plastic just sent it into the stratosphere.

I'm sure that Rays fans are now feeling like we did in 1986. But hey, they're still up 3-2 and they get to go home (not that home is all that nice, but still, home) and face Josh Beckett, who in the playoffs so far has been about as steady as an epileptic with PTSD and a few bong hits in him.

The Sox still have an enormous uphill battle. But even if they can't get there, this was freaking awesome.

The Bashed-in Dead Sox

Oh. My. God.

The Sox are taking a serious pounding. This is ugly. No, it's beyond ugly. This is fugly.

How the heck does this happen? A few days ago they took the first game on the road in that horrible dome in St. Petersburg. Then they came within a whisker of taking the second and going up 2-0. Even coming home at 1-1 looked really good, particularly with Jon Lester on the mound for Game 3.

Then they actually played the games at Fenway. Oy.

Will somebody please tell me where the real Boston Red Sox are and who replaced them over the weekend with these mushy vegetarian meatballs? Who are these people? They can't pitch, they can't hit, they can't manage. They're utterly lifeless. How is this the same team that just last week beat up on the best team in the American League (against whom they went 1-8 in the regular season, I might add)?

I know, they came back from down 3-1 last year in the ALCS and, of course, there was The Miracle of 2004. All hope is not lost. But the hope cupboard is not exactly overflowing right now. We're going to have to dump out the last box to find even a few crumbs of it.

Ugh.

Happy Trails, Manny!

Ah, man. I can't believe he's gone. Who, you ask? This guy.



He could be a pain in the butt but damn, could he hit. And he was far and away the most entertaining figure in New England sports over the past decade, possibly ever.

I know why the Sox pulled the trigger but man, I'm gonna miss him. And I''m not alone. It just won't be the same without you, Manny. Thanks for the memories.