Wednesday, February 25, 2009

The Invasion Has Begun

Be afraid. Be very afraid. The aliens have finally landed and they walk among us. I've spotted dozens of them right here in Manhattan. They look human, almost like you and me. This is only because they take over people's bodies. They smile. They open doors for you. They ride the subway. They order lunch. In short, they seem perfectly normal.

But they're not.

I don't know how they are spreading their evil or how long it will take before we are completely overrun with them but, fortunately for us, there is a way we can tell who they are. They usually have what looks like a sooty smear on their foreheads. Sometimes it's cruciform, as in the picture on the right. Other times it just looks like a shapeless smudge.

If you see one of these creatures, do not attempt to kill it. Simply approach it, look it directly in the eye, and SCREAM AS LOUD AS YOU CAN for as long as you can. They usually run away. Sometimes they call for a police officer. But if they do that, you can have them arrested for being an illegal alien. Unless the cop has a smear on his/her forehead too. Then you're in deep shit, Spanky.

1 comment:

Kizz said...

Every year I forget all about it until I run into my first one. She was pushing a kid in a stroller, too. That kid doesn't stand a chance.